54 replies to this topic

[General_Zhaoyun]

Just curious what you think of the question. Is it necessary to get married?

What do you think?

[Elisha]

Well... that's an easy question... to me

The answer is, "No, it's not necessary to get married."

Since when is marriage necessary?

Marriage is a public declaration that one has decided to love one's spouse forever. Marriage represents a decision to cut a covenant with another party that they belong to each other.

Well, if there's no such person, then marriage isn't necessary. If one has find Mr or Miss Right, then it's not a question of neccessity. It's a matter of desire. It's a matter of me wanting to make this person mine; and in turn I belonging to him. So to me, the issue is not whether marriage is necessary but whether one wants to get married or not.

[Centaur]

When I voted, I thought I was asked it necessary to get married? and my gut answer is yes.... I thought if I am planning for a family, I better be married. If I love the guy, it would be nice to get married. But, Elizha does have a point, which is what I am currently practising... not get married, because, the right guy have not appear and so no marriage. I won't say it is not necessary - it would be very necessary if I am ready for it.

[JB_Xyooj]

I always thought Marriage was kinda like slavery... Since it involves Money... *whisper* in my culture we are to pay the in law... 'Only us Guys'... we have to pay 5,000 dollars just to marry the daughter...
what a fricken Rip!!!

and they call it insurance Money... PSH!!!


on the other hand I always thought marriage

was a feminist view.

[abuzuhri shin]

If my dad do not marry, we will not able to encounter our
blessed chinese grandma Chan Su lin aged over 80s, our 3 doctor
uncles and geneous aunties, cousins and nephew/nieces like cheryl,
pamela, ruth, anisa buckley, inglis, muneer, imran kai shek,
melati mei. Of course our loving mum Dr.Rokiah Tawi. Now
this my little empire to show who benefit from marriage. You
can choose girls or boys anywhere from the world. Here Presto !


MY FAMILY TREE
By Maryam Mei Ling Lum

My grandma came from the Province of Kwang Tung. Sailed over the Nanyang Sea to begin a new life escaping the turmoil and unrest in Southern China. Her name is Chan Sun Lin aged more than 80 blessed years. She lived in Kuala Lumpur with my Uncle. Granted citizenship in 1952. Due to help by the kind China Consulate Chief Haji Ibrahim Ma Yin Ting in Ipoh, Perak then a prosperous booming tin town with many Austin, Ford and Vauxhall cars.

I am one of her thirteen grandchildren and my name is Maryam Mei Ling Lum . My sister name is Melati Mei Lee Lum
and my elder brother Imran Lum Kai Shek .

We got several inter-related/mixed marriage cousins and I like to pen down their unique and unforgettable names :

Pauline Lum Mei Ling
Dr. Mark Lum Ying Jun
Ruth Lum Meu Yin
Cheryl Lum Mei Yee
Pamela Lum Mei Ling
Dr. Lum Ying Wei

Yeah, we almost forgot to congratulate and proud of our Grandma four prodigal successful and well educated sons. They all graduated with flying colors and become Doctors ! Bull eye. All the four are Yi Shengs as below :

Dr. Lum Siew Meng ( my Dad’s lah… he graduated from Belfast Queen College circa 1988. Strict disciplinarian, generous with smiles)
Married to my Mum Dr. Rokkiah Tawi. He fraternize with jovial friends like – Dr.Izhan Chew, Dr. Amin Ho of Johor, Dr.Yasmin Cheng (Wife of Dr.Khalid HUKM, Dr.Aishah Ong (UMMC), Dr.Fuad Yeoh, Dr.Osman Chua (UIA), Dr. Ibrahim Lee Bao Yi (ISTAC), Dr.Eusuff Teh, Dr.Anqaravi Lee, Dr.Mazeni Alwi IJN), Dr.Che Husna (UKM), Dr. Helena, Dr.Abdal Qadir Xin, Dr.Sachiko Murata, Dr.Rosey Ma and Dr.Hafizah Cheong (UIA).
( You see when we got fever, two Doctors will force us to take extra medicine and sleep early. No television ! )

Dr. Milton Lum Siew Wah ( my first Uncle , blah blah)
(Need third opinion or medical diagnosis, go to his Specialist Child Clinic at Suria KLCC,1 8th Jade Floor, East Wing. Married to Auntie Patricia Ng Sok Ai. She always gave us the best overseas chocolates )

Dr.Lum Siew Kheong ( you guess what… we what called him ? He lives at a bamboo banglow in Bukit Tunku. Married to Auntie Yvonne Ho Seok Inn. Now serving as Cardiac Consultant at Singapore Elizabeth Medical Centre. We like to visit his lovely children.. our cousins la..Cheryl, Judith, and Pauline )

Dr.Lum Siew Heng ( he is our youngest Uncle. His favorite Chinese Tea is Shushien from Yunna and earned a salary of RM15,000. Peanuts … ! he barked, compared to our Auntie Dr. Lalitha, married to Dr. Lum Siew Heng who easily commanded a monthly pay of Sterling Pound 20,000 while serving in Dubai al-Buruj Blue Lagoon Medical Spa).

I just feel old when reached my 8th year come this Summer Time on 18 August 2006. Now I am Enrolled at Ritz Garden International School. I also take subjects of Japanese language, Science of Haiku, Karate-do, English , Eastern Architecture, History (ah very important not to lose sight of your country and great family connections !) Arabic and horsing riding at week end at Bukit Kiara Equistrian Park. Soon our dad promise to bring us to Perth Equine Farm, Western Australia to buy our ponies ! Not so soon until you graduate with honor in Archictural Studies, ha ha ha. ( Don’t be taken in by my account, just add six more years to the day I am seeing the sunlight and trees of Malaysia. Happy Merdeka… 49 years. My dad is younger by ten years. Ha ha ha..). My dad perform the pilgrimage of Hajj in year 1420 Hijriah and still not brave to use the title Haji to his muslim name. This secret you have to pay a price to unravel. Ming bu fu shi. Born in Rabbit year or Horse, you guess ?

My English teacher, charming Sharifah Khoo Su Nin gave me this assignment to write a short essay and biography of my Blessed Family Tree. Where East meet West, three of us always get more Ang Pows and Hari Raya money than other cousins. We celeberate Gong Xi Fatt Zai, Aidil Fitri, Moon Cake Tanglung Festival, Aqiqah, and also Christmas. My teacher graduated from Berkeley, California University and offspring of the famous Khoo Clan lineage in Penang. Islam embraced and captured her heart and certainty in 1998.

Before I pen out, some last precious bit of facts : we got two very young Nephews – Muneer Buckley and James Inglis. And one Niece- Anisa Buckley and not to left out cute baby Ilyaas Inglis. He is the first ever great Grandson to our beloved Grandma Madame Chan Sun Lin.

May Heaven bless Grandma…she passed away
peacefully on 16 September 2006.
Always in kind loving remembrance and embrace, when we gather,
play and running around her. Zhenzhu baoyuni.

This morning while flipping thru the paper 17 September, Sunday Star,
my heart jumped with joy when I saw the many sweet and
beautiful rows of Chinese , English, Indian, Eurasian and Muslim names
in the Family Tree as listed in one of the paparazzi columns.
What happen is that my wife Sophia Wen requested me to write
a short article to honor and appreaciate the piercing light of Islam
that shine through the post merdeka young generation of Asian.

A truly Asian Melting Pot of Beauty and Experience.
The rest is Fiction with many thanks
to little Maryam Mei Ling,
using her rich imaginations

[Kimchee]

I can only speak from a Western point of view... I guess because I'm getting on in years... I see the benefits of marriage at the end of one's life, too. In a marriage, the children are protected financially... and then if the loved one becomes ill, or heaven forbid, dies... his/her estate is left to the surviving spouse. If they are not married, at least in the US, all monies and property is left to the state. (This is a problem that gay couples are dealing with, since in many of the states, the union is not considered a marriage... they can't even visit their loved ones in the hospital because they are not considered "family." A terribly sad predicament.)

Then there is common law marriage... something that developed in the Old West because churches and justices of the peace were so few and far between. But still, in this country, if a man and woman live with each other for 7 years, you are considered legally married. How's that on saving on the wedding and reception bill?

I firmly believe in the institution on so many levels... no, you don't HAVE to get married... like right now, I'm happily SINGLE... but, I wouldn't mind sharing some of the good and bad times in my life with someone I love... and a marriage would just seal the bond between us.


Kimchee

[MC420]

Statistical data indicates married men are living longer and happier than single men; Hurry go get marry GZ!

[Wujiang]

Yeah, but didn't you hear, marriage men are more eager to die.

[caocao74]

Just curious what you think of the question. Is it necessary to get married?
What do you think?

Personally. I don't think marriage is something you need to do but should be something you want/don't want to do.

[MC420]

Yeah, but didn't you hear, marriage men are more eager to die.

This is rather new for me; I've heard people could distinguish smile from single men, married men, and the divorced men though!

[Tsukiyono]

Its necessary for me.... but... only to the right person. I wont settle for someone that I dont love just so I can get married. I would love to have a family though, the only way I can do that is to get married. ( I wont sleep around before marriage) If I dont get married, simply dont start a family, its as simple as that. So anyone I date would have to be in the long term, willing to commit if things worked out that way, and not just with me to have a short fling. A women that has no interest in family would needless to say not last long with me, as I wouldnt see the point in staying with her.

[Wujiang]

This is rather new for me;

by the 10th year she asks "does my butt look big in this?" you will find that shotgun very appealling.

[MC420]

by the 10th year she asks "does my butt look big in this?" you will find that shotgun very appealling.

Yeah; after the 15th year, my old lady was still listed at 5'7" & 115 lbs!

[Juchechosunmanse]

Yes. Security. Mutual responsibility. Protected by law. Tax breaks. Not to mention married men usually live longer than single men! Hurry, GZ!

[General_Zhaoyun]

Yes. Security. Mutual responsibility. Protected by law. Tax breaks. Not to mention married men usually live longer than single men! Hurry, GZ!

I haven't found the right girl yet.. still hunting for one But I do want to get married someday..