40 replies to this topic

[fcharton]

I will think of you whenever I see passing clouds and at sunset it will be like being with an old friend.

I like that one...

[Moon]

Hi All
I like all your brilliant translations!
It's still Friday and it is half an hour to a brand new day..SG time of course.


送友人
李白

青山橫北郭，
白水繞東城。
此地一為別，
孤蓬萬里征。
浮雲遊子意，
落日故人情。
揮手自茲去，
蕭蕭班馬鳴。

Seeing a Friend off
Li Bai

Green hills across the North bulwark,
Clear waters circles the East city wall.
Here we bid our farewell,
There he embark on a thousand mile expedition.
Drifting clouds in an old traveler's mind,
Setting sun reminds of a good old friend.
As we wave and take our leave,
Even our horses neigh with sorrow.

Edited: I decided to change "wail" to "neigh".. can horses wail?

Edited by Moon, 17 October 2008 - 10:38 AM.

[JohnD]

I will think of you whenever I see passing clouds and at sunset it will be like being with an old friend.

I like this line too.

[Hailong]

Thank you for the appreciation. This topic rocks it's really very interesting to see how different people can come up with such different ideas in translating the same piece of poetry. I find this particularly inspiring because it really enhances the opportunity to view Chinese poetry from different angle. Trying to understand how others got their translation is surely the most stimulating part (but translating is also pretty enjoyable I have to say). I'm very happy I've started joining in

[JohnD]

Thank you for the appreciation. This topic rocks it's really very interesting to see how different people can come up with such different ideas in translating the same piece of poetry. I find this particularly inspiring because it really enhances the opportunity to view Chinese poetry from different angle. Trying to understand how others got their translation is surely the most stimulating part (but translating is also pretty enjoyable I have to say). I'm very happy I've started joining in

This was my first time, and it really gave me a sense of just what translators have to do. There are so many ways to word a particular line in this poem, and given that English grammar is so much different from Chinese grammar, you really have to read into what the poet is trying to say.


Was anyone else thrown off by 子? I think every translation I've seen has this as traveler, which makes sense, but I wonder what significance 子 has? Is his friend a child? Or maybe they're both children? Or does it refer to something else?

[Tang Scholar]

First, my Spanish version:

Diciendo adiós a un amigo
Li Bai

Montes azules sobre el muro norte,
al este claras aguas en torno a la muralla.
Es aquí donde hay que separarse,
para viajar por leguas de agrestes herbazales.
Las nubes van flotando, semillas de deseos,
El día va cayendo en esta amistad vieja.
Agitamos las manos despidiéndonos;
tristes, tristes relinchan los caballos.

[Tang Scholar]

Oh, I forgot. Here is Ezra Pound's version.

Blue mountains to the north of the walls,
White river winding about them;
Here we must make separation
And go out through a thousand miles of dead grass.

Mind like a floating wide cloud,
Sunset like the parting of old acquaintances
Who bow over their clasped hands at a distance.
Our horses neigh to each others as we are departing.

[Liu]

First, my Spanish version:

That's amazing, you're the first one to have translated the color of the mountains in a different way...

[fcharton]

No french version ?

Accompagnant un ami

Montagnes vertes encerclant le faubourg
Eaux jaillissant le long de la muraille
En cet endroit nous devons nous quitter
Vous partez seul pour un très long voyage

Nuages errants, pensées de voyageurs
Soleil couchant, souvenir d'un ami
J'étends le bras pour vous accompagner
Dans les soupirs des chevaux d'équipage

[Liu]

Accompagnant un ami

Montagnes vertes encerclant le faubourg
Eaux jaillissant le long de la muraille
En cet endroit nous devons nous quitter
Vous partez seul pour un très long voyage

Nuages errants, pensées de voyageurs
Soleil couchant, souvenir d'un ami
J'étends le bras pour vous accompagner
Dans les soupirs des chevaux d'équipage

Merci François, it's so easier for me to compare my feelings with another french version...

I found in another french translation on the net that 蓬 péng was a kind of grass, to be precise it would be "vergerette, Erigeron acris " ( in english "fleabane").
Wiki

The travellers would then be compared to "lonely grasses", I like this idea...

I'm still lost about the last verse.

Edited by Liu, 17 October 2008 - 02:42 PM.

[sunflower1]

very nice translations by everyone and i like Hailong's line also.



First allow me to submit one more translation but this time a "graphical" adaptation of the poem. it's sketched using AutoCAD ....



secondly, I am thinking of inviting a french friend staying in singapore who love mandarin language to read these translations.

[JohnD]

very nice translations by everyone and i like Hailong's line also.



First allow me to submit one more translation but this time a "graphical" adaptation of the poem. it's sketched using AutoCAD ....



secondly, I am thinking of inviting a french friend staying in singapore who love mandarin language to read these translations.

That's a pretty good drawing, and I think the first non-technical drawing I've seen made with AutoCAD. Nicely done.

[sunflower1]

thanks, actually i made some non-technical CAD sketches also. i have a collections of people figures in autocad but not one in chinese costumes, so last night what i did was just built up a new figure in chinese theme.

[shunyadragon]

Thanks Jullian, this is a famous poem by Libai.
Here is the poem in simplified Chinese, and pinyin.

送友人
李白

青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。


sòng you rén
送 友 人
li bái
李 白


qīng shān héng běi guō , bái shui rào dōng chéng
青 山 横 北 郭 ， 白 水 绕 东 城 。


ci dì yī wèi bié , gū péng wàn li zhēng
此 地 一 为 别 ，孤 蓬 万 里 征 。

fú yún yóu zi yì , luò rì gù rén qíng
浮 云 游 子 意 ， 落 日 故 人 情 。


huī shou zì zī qù , xiāo xiāo bān ma míng
挥 手 自 兹 去 ， 萧 萧 班 马 鸣 。

this is shot at a translation

Qing Mountain rises over the northern fields,
as white waters reflect on the eastern walls.

From this valley,we must depart,
wandering alone on a long journey.

Clouds drift past travelers thoughts,
as the setting sun reflects our sorrows.

As we wave farewell,
our horses reluctantly carry us on.

Edited by shunyadragon, 17 October 2008 - 08:29 PM.

[Tang Scholar]

That's amazing, you're the first one to have translated the color of the mountains in a different way...

Now the English. Though I'm not particularly happy about what I have done.

Saying goodbye to a friend

Li Bai

Blue mountains on the northern city walls,
Clear waters go around the eastern ramparts.
It is here where parting will take place,
to travel many miles through lone wild grasslands.
Floating clouds roam like seeds of wishes.
The sun sets on an old friendship.
We wave hands in our farewell;
the horses neigh so sadly.

Dear Liu, I like your comment very much. I feel we need to lift a little the rule of no criticism, if we want to learn from these exercises. The thing is, that on imagining the scene I don't see green hills, I see blue mountains instead, blue because they are more distant. Maybe because I live on a wide valley. I hope the meaning of 青 will be wide enough to allow the bluish tones of distant mountains.