40 replies to this topic

[sunflower1]

Thank you to allow me propose our weekly poem translation.

It is a poem by Li Bai 李白.He is belong to the group called "Eight Immortals of the Wine Cup" , a term come up by Du Fu to address a group of poets of their passion to alcohol. I never really knew chinese poetry but only this group, so here the poem that I really like to get translate.
I hope that other member can help me on more details of the poem,as always, because on very limited time I can only provide the poem itself. Please help on Pinyin and simplified version as well, thanks.

Hopefully can be enjoyed through this week.

送友人
李白

青山橫北郭，白水繞東城。
此地一為別，孤蓬萬里征。
浮雲遊子意，落日故人情。
揮手自茲去，蕭蕭班馬鳴。





-----------------------------
Reminder of the Basic Guidelines :

(1) *Everyone* is welcome to join in! You are especially welcome if this will be your first time doing this.
(2) Please wait until this Friday (Greenwich Mean Time) to post your translation.
(3) Kindly see François's earlier post regarding feedback:
The rules are pretty simple:
1- No posting of translation before Friday
2- This is not a contest, there is no reward or price. It is just for the fun of learning
3- Beginners are welcome, if this thread can help people realise that it is not *that* difficult, and that nice translations can be made by beginners in Chinese (or in English), it will be a success
4- Consequently, no criticising of others' attempts, no jury, no teacher, no correction. Highbrow, or disparaging comments (esp from people who don't translate) are discouraged
5- Translations must be yours. As most of the poems are famous, you can easilly find translations on the internet or at the library, we don't want those…
6- If you feel that you can't, if you feel embarrassed, don't ! We've all been there ! (and don't listen to people saying you need so many years of practice before you can even dare look at those poems... this is ridiculous)
7- There is no policy, and no criteria on what constitute a good or bad translation, you can try to be close to the chinese original, or "interpret it" as you see fit, you can try to make it rhyme, or not. In fact, the most interesting part is to see how different, yet faithful in different ways, some attempts may be.

Edited by jullian_bei, 14 October 2008 - 12:34 AM.

[Moon]

Thanks Jullian, this is a famous poem by Libai.
Here is the poem in simplified Chinese, and pinyin.

送友人
李白

青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。


sòng you rén
送 友 人
li bái
李 白


qīng shān héng běi guō , bái shui rào dōng chéng
青 山 横 北 郭 ， 白 水 绕 东 城 。


ci dì yī wèi bié , gū péng wàn li zhēng
此 地 一 为 别 ，孤 蓬 万 里 征 。

fú yún yóu zi yì , luò rì gù rén qíng
浮 云 游 子 意 ， 落 日 故 人 情 。


huī shou zì zī qù , xiāo xiāo bān ma míng
挥 手 自 兹 去 ， 萧 萧 班 马 鸣 。

Please help on Pinyin and simplified version as well, thanks.
送友人
李白

青山橫北郭，白水繞東城。
此地一為別，孤蓬萬里征。
浮雲遊子意，落日故人情。
揮手自茲去，蕭蕭班馬鳴。


-----------------------------
Reminder of the Basic Guidelines :

(1) *Everyone* is welcome to join in! You are especially welcome if this will be your first time doing this.
(2) Please wait until this Friday (Greenwich Mean Time) to post your translation.
(3) Kindly see François's earlier post regarding feedback:
The rules are pretty simple:
1- No posting of translation before Friday
2- This is not a contest, there is no reward or price. It is just for the fun of learning
3- Beginners are welcome, if this thread can help people realise that it is not *that* difficult, and that nice translations can be made by beginners in Chinese (or in English), it will be a success
4- Consequently, no criticising of others' attempts, no jury, no teacher, no correction. Highbrow, or disparaging comments (esp from people who don't translate) are discouraged
5- Translations must be yours. As most of the poems are famous, you can easilly find translations on the internet or at the library, we don't want those…
6- If you feel that you can't, if you feel embarrassed, don't ! We've all been there ! (and don't listen to people saying you need so many years of practice before you can even dare look at those poems... this is ridiculous)
7- There is no policy, and no criteria on what constitute a good or bad translation, you can try to be close to the chinese original, or "interpret it" as you see fit, you can try to make it rhyme, or not. In fact, the most interesting part is to see how different, yet faithful in different ways, some attempts may be.

[Hailong]

Hi everyone, I've been pretty busy recently with university but since I have some spare time I'd like to join in. I don0t have that much of an experience translating poems but I'll do my best

[Tang Scholar]

Hi everyone, I've been pretty busy recently with university but since I have some spare time I'd like to join in. I don0t have that much of an experience translating poems but I'll do my best

Welcome, Hailong. I am sure you will enjoy this experience.

[Hailong]

Welcome, Hailong. I am sure you will enjoy this experience.

Yes, it does seem pretty fun ^^

[Tang Scholar]

We have an invited translator for this week's poem. He has come specially from the Yellow Fountains and his name is Ezra Pound. You will see his translation at the time established by our rules.

[madalibi]

Just to let you know that I will not submit a translation this week because I am appallingly busy. But I will read everything!

[Liu]

Hello !
Hope I'm not too early
I think I didn't understand well the last verse...(among other mistakes)

Here's my work :

送友人

青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。

------------------------
Reconduire un ami

A l’horizon, les montagnes vertes forment un rempart,
La blanche rivière contourne par l’Est la cité.

C’est là que nous devons nous séparer,
Seul, les cheveux au vent, il te faut marcher sur dix mille lis.

Les nuages flânent,
Le soleil couchant enveloppe mon vieil ami de mes sentiments.

Déjà un dernier geste de la main,
Triste sur mon cheval, j’entends au loin chanter …

----------------------
Leaving a friend

On the horizon, the green mountains are forming ramparts,
The white river by passes the City by the East.

We have to part here,
Alone, with the wind in the hair, you have to walk for ten thousands of lis.

The clouds are strolling,
The setting sun wraps my old friend with my feelings.

Now a last hand gesture,
Sad on my horse, in the distance, I can hear singing…

[JohnD]

Here's my translation. This is my first attempt at translating a Chinese poem.

Seeing Off a Friend

The green mountain rises over the north wall.
The clear water flows east of the city.
At this place one must become two,
And you begin a winding journey of 10,000 li.
The clouds float high over our childish thoughts;
When the sun sets only your affection will remain.
I wave to you now as you go;
Even your horse sounds sad as it takes off.

[sunflower1]

very nice by Liu and JohnD. now before other poems go up I better put mine down. Mandarin and english are not my native language so pardon the simpleness of the translation...

Departure of a Friend

A green hill lying on a northern wall, the eastern wind blew the crystal dew
The place is for say goodbye, to a lonely grass and you to the journey
The cloud float like your mind, the sunset, yours heart reflected
As you go you waive calmly, but your horse cries silently

[sylvester]

送友人
李白

青山橫北郭，白水繞東城。
此地一為別，孤蓬萬里征。
浮雲遊子意，落日故人情。
揮手自茲去，蕭蕭班馬鳴。

farewell my friend
Li Bai
greenish mountain laid at the north, and clear river flows at the east of the city.
once we apart from here, you have to travel miles away all on you alone, like a poor fleabane.
the cloud and the setting sun reflects our sorrow feelings.
wave hands and leaveing there, sad sad is the cries of the horses.

[fcharton]

Ok, mine, done a bit too rashly on a busy day...

Farewell to a friend

Green hills enclose the northern fields
White waters bathe the eastern walls
In this place, we must part
Lone wanderer, on a long journey
Clouds drift away, travellers' minds
The sun sets down, old friends' feelings
I wave my hand as you depart
And even our horses sigh

Edited by fcharton, 17 October 2008 - 06:03 AM.

[Liu]

Ok, mine, done a bit too rashly on a busy day...

No french version ?

[fcharton]

No french version ?

On busy days, I try to do one poem, but not more... So, later, perhaps, or on my blog...

Francois

Edited by fcharton, 17 October 2008 - 07:27 AM.

[Hailong]

This is my translation. Hope it doesn't suck too much ^^

送友人
李白

青山橫北郭，白水繞東城。
此地一為別，孤蓬萬里征。
浮雲遊子意，落日故人情。
揮手自茲去，蕭蕭班馬鳴。

The northern wall is amongst green hills while the eastern wall is surrounded by white water.
In this place we have to separate, alone and dishevelled from a thousand-miles journey.
I will think of you whenever I see passing clouds and at sunset it will be like being with an old friend.
Now that I see you off our horses' whinnying is like a moan.

Edited by Hailong, 17 October 2008 - 09:07 AM.