23 replies to this topic

[azureboone]

Say she's from China but was raised in America since she was four. She's lived in an abusive situation, runs away at nineteen and meets a nice celibate guy that helps get her a better job and on another occassion, saves her from sexual harrassement. Say he gives her a ride home to a sleezy hotel she's stuck staying at and a group of bad news Chinese guys are waiting in the parking lot. Nice guy sees she's hiding from them and offers her to stay at his house in the spare bedroom for the night.

Now, what would a Chinese girl do, and why?

[mohistManiac]

azureboone, on 06 September 2011 - 11:08 AM, said:

Say she's from China but was raised in America since she was four. She's lived in an abusive situation, runs away at nineteen and meets a nice celibate guy that helps get her a better job and on another occassion, saves her from sexual harrassement. Say he gives her a ride home to a sleezy hotel she's stuck staying at and a group of bad news Chinese guys are waiting in the parking lot. Nice guy sees she's hiding from them and offers her to stay at his house in the spare bedroom for the night.

Now, what would a Chinese girl do, and why?

I remember watching this Taiwanese drama called Devil Beside You and there was a situation that involved a typhoon and motel. The starring couple ended up entering a motel to escape the typhoon but the romance was short lived as either the girl or guy got a bad fever and no store was open in the parts they were in. I like how drama makes twists and turns in things like these natural situations due to everything being a conflict or driving force for other elements. Anyway if you see the drama you'll know what I'm talking about.

[JohnD]

If she's been in the US since she was four, then culturally, she's going to be more American than Chinese, so there isn't anything special you need to be aware of. And anyway, if she's already willing to accept a ride home, then why would she not accept a spare bedroom for the night? Of course, she could always just stay at another hotel for the night as well.

[azureboone]

Okay so if she's been in American since she was four, that pretty much frees me up with her decisions. It wouldn't seem out of the ordinary then for her to just act on her instincts, given the reader is aware of how long she's been in America.

My other question would be, exactly how well would she speak English if she was raised in America, but kept like a prisoner in her own home? Right now she speaks like this:


"Hi, my name is Sheeku (prolly not very Chinese sounding, is it) I have been in Washington for two weeks."
"Really, so what are you doing in a place like this?"
"Clean when this place closes. This is my job."
"How unfortunate for you to have to clean up after such nasty scum."
"I do not mind so much. I pray to find a better job soon."

Okay, lame made up conversation, but on the parts where the girl talks, is her English good enough, or too good? I get A LOT of grief when I make her English less than above and still some people go, she wouldn't talk like that. But none of these people telling me this are Chinese either. So, I'd love to know from the source.

Thaaaaaaaanks
"

[azureboone]

And thank you to Mohistmaniac, I will check out that drama. And thank you tooooo John D, reeeeeally appreciate it! love these smilies.

[JohnD]

Since she's been in America since she was four, she would have gone through the American education system, so she would speak, write, and read fluent English. She likely speaks Chinese because that's what her parents would use at home, but she might not read or write Chinese very well.

[azureboone]

No, she was kept home and taught at home. She was kept from socializing because she's supposedly cursed. Given that, do you think the English I exampled above would be correct? Really appreciate your help.

[oldbreadstinks]

No, she was kept home and taught at home. She was kept from socializing because she's supposedly cursed. Given that, do you think the English I exampled above would be correct? Really appreciate your help.

"Hi, my namie is Sheeku (prolly not very Chinese sounding, is it) I been in Washington two weeks."(sheeku???)
"Really, so what are you doing in a place like this?"
"Clean when this place closes. This my job."
"How unfortunate for you to have to clean up after such nasty scum."(this guy sounds like one of the scums actually, or someone who's on a porno set...)
"It's ok. I hope find better job fast."


she'll probably sound like that, but that's how they sound when they're F.O.B.s

it doesn't make sense for someone to talk that way in US if they've been there since 4
not unless they've been kidnapped by some none chinese speaking but can only speak broken english person.
logically she has to be fluent in 1 language, whoever's bringing her up if they kept her in, wouldn't use english at all. Rather she'll be taught in whatever they're fluent in.
So Logically she's either fluent in english or she only learnt it in adulthood and she sounds like she's fresh off the boat.



for anyone who could afford it. it would be like below.

I once had to serve a little kid at my work place
I responded to him before I raised my head to look at him, and I honest thought he's white based on the accent. but whoa turns out when I looked at him he's actually a little chinese kid but he sounds so white.
then his parents came in and they sound like so d**** chinese. like you know the chef in southpark type but in Beijing accent.

Edited by oldbreadstinks, 08 September 2011 - 10:10 AM.

[azureboone]

so when you made silly comments about my bogus made up conversation, you did realize what the guy said was irrelevant, but rather I needed to know how the girl would respond English speaking wise.

So, looking beyond that, you're saying that unless she'd been kidnapped by bad speaking english people, she would speak fluent. Based on that logic alone, and everyone elses in put, I'm going to give my character more fluent english. But I'm wondering how fluent. With slang, a lot of contractions? I'm all for that, but you'd be surprisesd to know that some people, non Asian, say that she doesn't "sound" very Asian. Like they expect a broken dialect. But are you Chinese? Do you speak fluent English? If you slip up, where is it likely to show up? The above example you gave has some English errors, and I'm wondering if you intended them or if that was your example of what it would sound like if she were to be here since she was four. Like when you say: "and I honest thought he's" was that a typo or are you saying that's the kind of English she would have? Not sure. It would be awesome if you could clarify, that's all I need to fnalize that decision to make the change. But if there are common mistakes even among the fluent english speaking Chinese, what would they be? That would help if you know that.

Big thanks oldbreadstinks

[JohnD]

I recommend the novel Bad Traffic by Simon Lewis. This novel has several Chinese characters of varying backgrounds, and he handles them quite well.

[azureboone]

Thanks for that title, John D, going check it out now!

[oldbreadstinks]

so when you made silly comments about my bogus made up conversation, you did realize what the guy said was irrelevant, but rather I needed to know how the girl would respond English speaking wise.

......I actually thought I was being quite serious there, he really does sound like he's in a porno script, really.

but really? sheeku? why not just call her "jade"? its a stereotypical chinese hollywood name. call her cui/cui-er/ or something like that then have the guy ask if it means Jade and go "Ahhhh .... that's a really nice unique name, we don't get that often around here"

So, looking beyond that, you're saying that unless she'd been kidnapped by bad speaking english people, she would speak fluent. Based on that logic alone, and everyone elses in put, I'm going to give my character more fluent english. But I'm wondering how fluent. With slang, a lot of contractions? I'm all for that, but you'd be surprisesd to know that some people, non Asian, say that she doesn't "sound" very Asian. Like they expect a broken dialect. But are you Chinese? Do you speak fluent English? If you slip up, where is it likely to show up? The above example you gave has some English errors, and I'm wondering if you intended them or if that was your example of what it would sound like if she were to be here since she was four. Like when you say: "and I honest thought he's" was that a typo or are you saying that's the kind of English she would have? Not sure. It would be awesome if you could clarify, that's all I need to fnalize that decision to make the change. But if there are common mistakes even among the fluent english speaking Chinese, what would they be? That would help if you know that.

Big thanks oldbreadstinks

......... I'm.eh..... chinese lol assuming if I do slip up, its because english isn't my main language. Everyone have a native language, if you screw up in speaking english its when your other language interferes. for me I'm singaporean, we speak a broken form of english called singlish here, and it's basically English but using a lot of chinese dialect sentence structure mixed up with words from chinese dialects/malay/indian languages.

English: No , I might want to try that myself first before I make a decision.
Singlish: No, I try myself first then decide.
both sounds exactly the same to me in person

but you need a back story for her for that, why she's there where she's from, when did she arrive here?
then you can decide whether you want her language skills to be fantastic, so who did she learn her english from?

even the word "clever" has a different meaning here, we like to praise kids saying "clever boy"
But for "westerners", "clever" might have an additional "sly" meaning to it so usually "smart" is used.

But if you really want broken English learnt during adulthood............ just listen to how Jackie Chan speaks in "Rush Hour"
I think that's the general view people have of east Asians

Edited by oldbreadstinks, 13 September 2011 - 11:35 AM.

[oldbreadstinks]

So, looking beyond that, you're saying that unless she'd been kidnapped by bad speaking english people, she would speak fluent. Based on that logic alone, and everyone elses in put, I'm going to give my character more fluent english.

you just have to decide where she learnt her language skills, you can even make her fluent in half a dozen languages but just broken english, brought to america, left behind on the streets in chinatown, parents had to work in a sweat shop. no time for the kids.
so left on the streets no one taught her english, send her to a school or teach her anything. and all her language skills were picked up in the market place where no one speaks english in chinatown. tada!
So based on that she learnt mandarin from her parents, cantonese from the old dude with the pipe, thai from the thai masseuse lady and so on , and heck throw in a mexican guy as well.
but not english, in fact when the guy asks her out she can pretend to be shy and go "no hablo ingles"

Like when you say: "and I honest thought he's" was that a typo

.....eh..... its a typo

but I think if you're not fluent in English, you won't use "honestly" in speech. probably not even the word honest in that situation. "really" might be a better word. my POV because "really" was the direct translation from the mandarin word in my mind.
so it should be closer to "really thought"

[azureboone]

......I actually thought I was being quite serious there, he really does sound like he's in a porno script, really.

but really? sheeku? why not just call her "jade"? its a stereotypical chinese hollywood name. call her cui/cui-er/ or something like that then have the guy ask if it means Jade and go "Ahhhh .... that's a really nice unique name, we don't get that often around here"

Well my apologies sir, lol. So hard to know these things in cyber space. So, YES, thank you for all of this help. And I made up the little conversation and was aware that my made up male character was extremely cardboard, I was hurrying and I put it as an afterthought that it was a lame example. He sounded worse than a guy on a porno set, lmbo.

On the NAME. I KNOW Sheeku isn't Chinese sounding (however, there is a city in China very close, spelling off by a letter, I think) and I also acknowledged that I knew it wasn't very Chinese sounding maybe, so when you say things like..."Sheeku? really?" It makes me want to cyber smack you. But what you really FREAKED me out on was the name suggestion you gave. JADE. I (not kidding you), just decided on that name last night and was wondering if it would work, lol. So, thanks for that. What do you think of Ruki Jade Law? Or just Jade Law? She's a kick butt character, so I want her name to be kinda strong, but at the same time, she's beautiful, sweet and smart. I know Law is the romanized version of Lo, I think, but it would probably be something she'd use in America. And I like how strong it sounds. I hate how powerful names are, but they definitely are. The wrong one in a book makes the reader's upper lip quirk. I know it does mine, for sure.

......... I'm.eh..... chinese lol assuming if I do slip up, its because english isn't my main language. Everyone have a native language, if you screw up in speaking english its when your other language interferes. for me I'm singaporean, we speak a broken form of english called singlish here, and it's basically English but using a lot of chinese dialect sentence structure mixed up with words from chinese dialects/malay/indian languages.

Okay, I think I'm figuring this out. It's like any dialect, we tend to mix them slang? In Louisiana, we have a cajun dialect. It looks like this:

What are you cooking for supper?
Cajun: Mmm, what 'cha cookin?

and using your example:
I might want to try that myself first before I make a decision.
Cajun: I needa try it first before I do anything.

So, it's more of how we arrange the thoughts and words in sentences that changes things. And Chinese doesn't translate well into English straight out, so I can imagine the flow of Chinese just naturally effecting that more than the English words themselves would.

but you need a back story for her for that, why she's there where she's from, when did she arrive here?
then you can decide whether you want her language skills to be fantastic, so who did she learn her english from?

I guess it seems like I don't have backstory on her. I'm just not sure if the backstory I have on her, works. The gist of her backstory is: She's got a prophetic gift that her uncle who lives in Chinatown California wants to use in his underground demonic battles. (people who supposedly possess power from various entities that fight to the death to gain more power. The uncle plans to marry Sheeku to his older son who is a fighter to gain her power, it's a big money gig of course) Sheeku, (who is about to have her name changed), is believed to have the power of Genghis Khan because of her blue eyes and her gift of death. She sees the deaths and suffereing of certain people before or as they're happening. Her uncle believes she is actually causing them and so wants to use her, or harness her power by gaining it through marriage to his son. So, he stirs up the village where she's from and convinces them she's dangerous. She's only 4 at the time. After the village abducts her and trys to cut the demon out of her, the uncle "rescues" her and convinces her father and mother that she'll only be safe in America. They believe him and give her to him. Once he has her there, he has the father imprisoned on bogus charges and convinces the mother to come help take care of her daughter so he can have his brothers wife. The uncle ensures this by having a seal tatooed on Sheeku's back, a diagram that binds or seals Sheeku in marriage and blocks the demon from taking possession of her. (the real case being he wants to gain her power through uniting their body and souls) This is scheduled to take place when she is 20. Why 20, why not twelve? Because the Uncle's spiritual consultant says that in the year of her twentieth birthday, 2012, the galaxy will align in such a way that will ensure the best binding. But Sheeku's mother has other plans. She meets an old woman that visits the uncle and they become friends. The old woman learns about Sheeku's misfortune and decides to help. She tells the uncle that she wishes to train Sheeku in the ways of a wife and teach her instruments to play for her husband. The uncle agrees and the old woman trains her in Wing Chun in addition to teaching her the ways of a wife. She also helps her learn English, but Sheeku hides it. But when she begins to understand it, she realizes the uncle's son who she's supposed to marry has cruel plans for her. So, Sheeku runs away when she's 19 when she overhears the uncle telling the mother that if she doesn't marry his son, they will deport her back to China to face murder charges for the deaths she predicted (or caused) . Sheeku ends up meeting the hero who really has a demon and they end up both having to fight at the end of the story in an epic underground battle. This is where we learn the truth about Sheeku's entity and just how powerful it is when she uses it to open the gates of Hell and end the battle once and for all, for her and the hero, whom she falls in love with. But before she runs away, the uncle keeps her imprisoned or hidden from society, convincing her that her eyes are portals to the demons power and it isn't safe for her to be in public. Of course this is going to be tricky to convey early on since I'm telling the story in first person from the hero's pov. Sheeku is the mystery we unravel. I know it seems like this story should be all about Sheeku, and really it eventually is because the hero falls in love with her. But the problem with the hero is his demon. He's been forced to carry the demon Ashmodie (god of lust) and the demons power is in his kiss and damnation is in his seed, which makes for a bad boyfriend. So, there's the conflict for him. While helping her and trying not to give into his desire for her, he secretly goes on exorcism sprees. Usually his shield makes women hate his guts but Sheeku's entity is immune. Which makes her able to like him but not so much that she'll go crazy and kill herself if she doesn't have him. (like it usually works)

[Loong]

why everytime i read this it makes my mind stray to comments that has sexual undertones..... let me blank out some words from the original question

........ China ...... raised in America ...... .....abusive ...., runs away ....... celibate guy ......saves her ......sexual harrassement. ...... ride home ......sleezy hotel ...... stuck......group of bad .....Chinese guys ....... .... hiding........ offers ...... house....spare bedroom .....night

Moralistic : Yeah, she'll call the police, thank the nice guy and live happily every after (which contradict why she didn't do it the first place)
Chinese : Kill herself to save vanity (although contradict the raised in America bit)
Conspiracy : She is a spy and same clan as the chinese bad-a**, and she wants to infiltrate the nice guy
Porn movie : She's Kobe Tai and its the first 10min of her porn movie. her screen name is Ju Si Lusy, the nice guy is Adam Goodfatt.