Well my apologies sir, lol. So hard to know these things in cyber space. So, YES, thank you for all of this help. And I made up the little conversation and was aware that my made up male character was extremely cardboard, I was hurrying and I put it as an afterthought that it was a lame example. He sounded worse than a guy on a porno set, lmbo.
no, he sounded exactly like the guy in a porno vid, really, I think the line's almost identical. "How unfortunate for you to have to clean up after such nasty scum." that's like pure gold for porn
.(trust me on that, i'm a guy)
but of course if its normal where you stay.
On the NAME. I KNOW Sheeku isn't Chinese sounding (however, there is a city in China very close, spelling off by a letter, I think) and I also acknowledged that I knew it wasn't very Chinese sounding maybe, so when you say things like..."Sheeku? really?" It makes me want to cyber smack you. But what you really FREAKED me out on was the name suggestion you gave. JADE. I (not kidding you), just decided on that name last night and was wondering if it would work, lol. So, thanks for that. What do you think of Ruki Jade Law? Or just Jade Law? She's a kick butt character, so I want her name to be kinda strong, but at the same time, she's beautiful, sweet and smart. I know Law is the romanized version of Lo, I think, but it would probably be something she'd use in America. And I like how strong it sounds. I hate how powerful names are, but they definitely are. The wrong one in a book makes the reader's upper lip quirk. I know it does mine, for sure.
yeah, but "sheeku" ?
nevermind what it sounds like, it doesn't even look chinky like "Yu feng/jade phoenix.
and yes, I do kinda feel that somehow people in the west thinks we all call our girls "jade" which was why I brought that up. (but we don't, I hardly know anyone called jade)
Jade Law seems kinda fierce for a girl who doesn't speak english well, does she have a nickname?
is this a serious novel ? or a comedy?
kick butt character? literally?
Okay, I think I'm figuring this out. It's like any dialect, we tend to mix them slang? In Louisiana, we have a cajun dialect. It looks like this:
What are you cooking for supper?
Cajun: Mmm, what 'cha cookin?
and using your example:
I might want to try that myself first before I make a decision.
Cajun: I needa try it first before I do anything.
So, it's more of how we arrange the thoughts and words in sentences that changes things. And Chinese doesn't translate well into English straight out, so I can imagine the flow of Chinese just naturally effecting that more than the English words themselves would.
something like that
which is why we end up talking this way( http://www.engrish.com/
I guess it seems like I don't have backstory on her. I'm just not sure if the backstory I have on her, works. The gist of her backstory is: She's got a prophetic gift that her uncle who lives in Chinatown California wants to use in his underground demonic battles. (people who supposedly possess power from various entities that fight to the death to gain more power. The uncle plans to marry Sheeku to his older son who is a fighter to gain her power, it's a big money gig of course) Sheeku, (who is about to have her name changed), is believed to have the power of Genghis Khan because of her blue eyes and her gift of death. She sees the deaths and suffereing of certain people before or as they're happening. Her uncle believes she is actually causing them and so wants to use her, or harness her power by gaining it through marriage to his son. So, he stirs up the village where she's from and convinces them she's dangerous. She's only 4 at the time. After the village abducts her and trys to cut the demon out of her, the uncle "rescues" her and convinces her father and mother that she'll only be safe in America. They believe him and give her to him. Once he has her there, he has the father imprisoned on bogus charges and convinces the mother to come help take care of her daughter so he can have his brothers wife. The uncle ensures this by having a seal tatooed on Sheeku's back, a diagram that binds or seals Sheeku in marriage and blocks the demon from taking possession of her. (the real case being he wants to gain her power through uniting their body and souls) This is scheduled to take place when she is 20. Why 20, why not twelve? Because the Uncle's spiritual consultant says that in the year of her twentieth birthday, 2012, the galaxy will align in such a way that will ensure the best binding. But Sheeku's mother has other plans. She meets an old woman that visits the uncle and they become friends. The old woman learns about Sheeku's misfortune and decides to help. She tells the uncle that she wishes to train Sheeku in the ways of a wife and teach her instruments to play for her husband. The uncle agrees and the old woman trains her in Wing Chun in addition to teaching her the ways of a wife. She also helps her learn English, but Sheeku hides it. But when she begins to understand it, she realizes the uncle's son who she's supposed to marry has cruel plans for her. So, Sheeku runs away when she's 19 when she overhears the uncle telling the mother that if she doesn't marry his son, they will deport her back to China to face murder charges for the deaths she predicted (or caused) . Sheeku ends up meeting the hero who really has a demon and they end up both having to fight at the end of the story in an epic underground battle. This is where we learn the truth about Sheeku's entity and just how powerful it is when she uses it to open the gates of Hell and end the battle once and for all, for her and the hero, whom she falls in love with. But before she runs away, the uncle keeps her imprisoned or hidden from society, convincing her that her eyes are portals to the demons power and it isn't safe for her to be in public. Of course this is going to be tricky to convey early on since I'm telling the story in first person from the hero's pov. Sheeku is the mystery we unravel. I know it seems like this story should be all about Sheeku, and really it eventually is because the hero falls in love with her. But the problem with the hero is his demon. He's been forced to carry the demon Ashmodie (god of lust) and the demons power is in his kiss and damnation is in his seed, which makes for a bad boyfriend. So, there's the conflict for him. While helping her and trying not to give into his desire for her, he secretly goes on exorcism sprees. Usually his shield makes women hate his guts but Sheeku's entity is immune. Which makes her able to like him but not so much that she'll go crazy and kill herself if she doesn't have him. (like it usually works)
...................eh. so its not those serious type of novel?
but lol......*** haha...... (the real case being he wants to gain her power through uniting their body and souls)
you sure you're not writing those softcore flicks? " her uncle who lives in Chinatown California
" huh? lives in California?
but the way you're putting it she's already half american if she's been here since 4, so she can speak english then?
Edited by oldbreadstinks, 14 September 2011 - 03:26 PM.