QUOTE (Pattie @ Dec 21 2007, 06:54 AM)

Wow. In a thread about atrocities perpetrated against women, I'm shocked to see that some things never change.
There's isn't a person on this forum that would look at me and see anything but a middle-aged fat chick. Or worse, an American whose perceptions of China need to be corrected by Chinese people who moved to America...for?
Nothing in my posts, nothing in my manners would erase the image... forum members would look at my picture, perhaps label me as 'unbearably ugly', and there would be an end to it.
What a sin.
Sorry about my comments about the pictures. I guess my mom's harsh comments about beauties did stick with me and my brother. I could assure you my own current pictures are no better than those pictures either, and my father's looks were also "unbearably ugly to the point of scary" in my mom's and many other people’s standards including mine, but I love him anyway. When I was growing up and up to today, my mom always looked at me and said, "How could I have such an ugly daughter?" My looks and demeanors were the major weapons for my neighborhood and school bullies to pick on me because they were all better looking or at least more confident in their looks than me. My brother's first words to me after not seeing me for a couple of years recently were, "What happened to you?" Yes, my family and my environment do place a lot of weight on looks. I know it's not a good trait and do not make my friends based on looks, but sometimes that attitude do show up in me from time to time and my mom’s and my classmates’ cruel words do stuck in me also. I apologize.
I also based my comments from the Emperor Guang Xu's point of view – I associated myself with him closely when I was growing up. My brother and my nick name for my mom is the Dowager Empress Cixi, and my mom does behave the same as Cixi with her family members.
Since I was growing up with Emperor Guang Xu’s stories, I was very sympathetic to him. He actually liked two other sisters who were very, very beautiful -- and supposedly much prettier than his chosen wife and concubines. However, due to the Dowager Empress' power, he could only choose the niece of the Dowager Empress as his Empress and the other two left over sisters for his royal concubines. The Dowager Empress was afraid that the two pretty sisters would gain the Emperor’s favors and displace her niece.
The key point for Zhen Fei and Jin Fei was "left over". Guang Xu was in no mood to choose them at all. Guang Xu’s Empress, Longyu, was supposed to have a very bad posture, with a slightly crooked back, and was not able to have witty conversations like Zhen Fei or to even hold a smooth conversation when pressed. The Empress was unlike a well trained upper class woman in those days. Guang Xu had to marry her and make her his Empress because the power of her aunt!!! It was said Guang Xu did not even want to look at her properly and barely able to stay in her presence. It was a tragedy all around. She did become the Dowager Empress in her days, but she was no better than Cixi -- as corrupt and as cruel. However, without Cixi's power and skills, she was not able to cause more problems like Cixi. She did however cause many unpleasant deaths to her servants and maids.
Jin Fei was also able to become the Imperial Concubine Dowager. She was like the other royal Qing women in power. She was one of the main murderers (the four Imperial Concubine Dowagers) who had forced the suicide of Puyi's (the last Qing Emperor) mother because Puyi's childish words had insulted her royal face/pride/dignity. It was all recorded in Puyi 's autobiography. It was also said that Jin Fei was not happy with her sister and was probably one of the people who spoke badly of her to Cixi, and Jin Fei was probably not helping Zhen Fei when Cixi ordered Zhen Fei’s execution.
I dislike these two women tremendously and not because of their looks, but because of their personalities. I dislike Zhen Fei for her corrupt behaviors and her taking advantage of Guang Xu’s favors to gain money and power for herself. I dislike her a lot for her stupidity and her ambition to have probably pushed Guang Xu to act rashly and lose it all in the power struggle with Cixi. It was a tragic waste for a very good Emperor and an Emperor who probably truly loved Zhen Fei. It was also a tragedy for 19th Century China when China could have turned around in time to not have the next 100 years of wars and billions of more tragedies.
For other emperors, if they did not like their empresses or royal concubines, they could at least go for their palace maidens. However, I think Cixi was probably thinking of that from the looks of those pictures of the palace women. When they could be in the pictures like that, they must be higher level ladies-in-waiting; i.e. the women would be the ones who served the Dowager Empress, the Emperor, the Empress, and the Royal Concubines. They would be the ones who would be in front of the Emperor Guang Xu day in and day out. If you think there were no pretty women in that era in China, it would be very wrong. I have seen some pretty good photos of the women of those days. Yes, they looked nervous and had their mouths open or what not like the pictures of the palace women, but those other women were pretty in the standards of those days (19th century). Some even could be considered great beauties in these days even with their very old fashioned Chinese hair styles and dresses and demeanors. Cixi just made sure none of them would be in the palace and near the emperor at all. She did something similar with her own son, Tong Zhi, but she let a few slide by to her regrets. Therefore, with Guang Xu, Cixi was very careful because of her lessons with Tong Zhi’s beautiful Empress and at least one other beautiful royal concubine (I remember).
Cixi was very detailed when it came to her niece’s marriage and her niece’s status as the Empress. She made sure there would be no rivals for Longyu. When Zhen Fei was picked, she was about 13 or 14, and, in Chinese age, she was about 12 or 13. At that time, she would not have been fully grown, and Cixi would be basing her looks on her sister Jin Fei’s and Jin Fei was no great beauty and was very bad in speaking smoothly (she also became stuttered when pressed like the Empress). Therefore, Cixi felt safe to let Zhen Fei and Jin Fei pass the selection process. This fact was documented in many late Qing dynasty’s court officials and one lady-in-waiting’s memoirs, autobiographies, interviews, and diaries. Cixi did not know though Zhen Fei was greatly favored at home and was much wittier than her sister and had the kind of personality that would shine through even if she was not great beauty. Actually, her looks fit the more traditional Chinese standards for wives and royal women. It was said that she liked to dress up as a western woman and took photos when she was at her father’s home. Therefore, she matched Guang Xu’s love for the modern and western things perfectly.
Btw, I fought back harshly and very un-Chinese like and very untraditionally against my mother’s wishes for my choice of marriage partner, and it was precisely due to the fact that I closely associate myself to Guang Xu and would not want his tragedy to happen to me!!!